This Was The Year...

Posted 11 Dec, 2009

It is that time of year when the media bombard the suffering public with retrospectives of the previous 12 months. News programmes wade through each and every disaster of which they have sensational footage with great relish; sports commentators show the same goal-of-the-season from 75 different angles; sportspersons who came 18th in a field of 17 recount the months of struggle (mostly not to get fit but to raise sponsorship) on each and every chat show that didn't have them on yesterday. And this year, every single movement by a pigeon in the outfield will be broadcast again as the entire Ashes series is replayed in real time and the players smirk modestly in their winter quarters, expectantly awaiting the inevitable New Year's Honour.

Not being completely immune to this wave of nostalgia, I have been spotted lately in my corner of the stationery cupboard jotting down a few recollections of my own…

January Decided to go 'green' – gave up car. Took rubbish for recycling on bus.

February Received ban from bus company.

March Did charity walk for Ambulance Service – sprained ankle. Called ambulance.

April Determined to be self-sufficient this year. Planted early potatoes. Too early – killed by frost.

May Made support frame for runner beans, 7ft high by 14ft long. Planted beans.

June Carrots came up.

July Carrots died. Fourteen-mile round trip to supermarket – out of carrots.

August Bought barbecue in readiness for promised 'barbecue summer'.

September Had barbecue in conservatory.

October Busy month. Rebuilt conservatory. Took summer holiday – stayed at home to gather harvest from garden.

3 November Ate harvest for dinner.

December Looked back over past year – wow, hadn't realised how packed with excitement it had been! Dismissed as idiot, colleague who said, 'You should get a life.' Sat back and awaited letter from Palace.

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